So I'm in the middle of this big transition of leaving my home of 2 and a half years and heading back to training, and eventually overseas. This past week has been the first rounds of "lasts" and goodbyes. This week I'll have to say goodbye to church and small group and school friends. Since I've done this before the goodbyes are little different. Living overseas you get used to people, really awesome people, coming and going. Goodbyes don't get any easier, you just get used to them. I also think since I've been too busy to really think about the transition and the finality of some things.
Tonight I was driving back from Wilmington...one of my most favorite places on earth. I had just said goodbye to it and the good friends that still live there. I can remember the first time I said goodbye to that place after attending college there. I could barely see it in my rear view mirror because of all the tears. This time was different, but it still hurt a little.
On the way back a familiar song came on my ipod. It was "Painting Pictures of Egypt" by Sara Groves. I love how songwriters can express thoughts in such a creative way. I'm always amazed because I would never think to say a sentence like that...or paint a picture with words like that. Maybe that is one of the many reasons I love music so much....because it can say things that I can't with words. Part of the chorus of the song goes like this:
But the places that used to fit me
Cannot hold the things I've learned
And those roads were closed off to me
While my back was turned
Wilmington used to be home...the place where I felt alive and loved and grew and learned. I am not saying that it isn't those things now, or that it will never be again...it's just different. The Lord has been faithful to make me more like Him over the years...even in spite of me at times. I know that Wilmington is not the place for me right now...it hasn't been that place since college, no matter how badly I've wanted it to be. The Dub and I used to be a perfect fit, but I'm different and praise the Lord that he has shown me for now a new place to follow Him.
The Lord has allowed me to learn that home is wherever He is....it's wherever I'm being obedient to Him. That doesn't mean that I forget or don't miss my actual home and the people that come with it....it just makes me look forward to the new place I'll call home. The place that He has prepared before the beginning of time. The place where He will hopefully continue to grow me until I'm called to the ultimate Home.
